June 19, 2011

Suicidal Squirrels

Dammit! For the second time in about 6 months, one of our bazillion neighborhood squirrels did the suicide dance in front of my car. You know how they do it... they jump out as you are approaching them, then they see you - decide that maybe they should go back - and do. But no, they really want to try and cross and they dart out again. Crazy dart out! Almost spinning in mid air. This is repeated about 5 times before they commit to a direction, and all in a matter of nano seconds.  All the while  I am watching and screaming like a 9 year old girl.  Not much makes me scream like that, except the sight of a live, and loose snake, and the possibility that I might hit an animal with my car. I suspect that the squirrel, if capable, would be letting out the same high pitched girly scream in the middle of the street.
I try as hard as I can to miss, but then the inevitable thump-thump. My heart sinks and have to live with that sound and the literal bump of my wheels for weeks. Know that bumper sticker that says "I brake for animals"? Mine would say, "I swerve back and forth, jeopardizing my own life and those of my passengers, for the sake of a fuzzy tailed rodent". Dammit! 
I understand the circle of life thing, and these little guys are abundant enough to not even notice that one is gone. But why, oh why, do they have to pick me as a source to the end of their little lives? I admit, I'm not a squirrel lover, but I wouldn't want to hurt one either. Or any other living thing. I'm a meat eater, yes-yes, and I see the irony here, but I get my meat at the grocery store where you're supposed to get it and there aren't any recognizable body parts in the package. And it's boneless and skinless. Just meat. Did someone kill it? Yes, but not me. I couldn't handle the nightmares that would follow. So, RIP little squirrel. Please tell your bazillion friends to listen for a scream... that's me, run like hell if you hear it.