February 22, 2011

Shoes, glorious shoes!

Remember Imelda Marcos? The only reason I do is because of the tremendous uproar that came about when her stash of hundreds of pairs of shoes were found in the palace after the downfall of her husband's regime. The Philippines, remember? OK, I just googled it and there were 2700 pairs of shoes LEFT BEHIND. I can remember that vividly only because I thought to myself... "excessive? really? I just don't think so". If you know me at all, you know I love shoes. I could seriously buy a pair every day. I read a blog recently by another shoe lover and she used the word "shoegasm". Oh mah gah! what a glorious word.
My inventory doesn't hold a candle to Imelda's, but it's somewhere in the less-than-a-hundred range. I don't own any expensive designer shoes like the kind you see on all the Housewives (teehee) but I wouldn't decline them if they were offered. And I do covet them. I don't own many flip flop styles of shoe (hate that fwappa fwappa sound), nor sport shoes. Eegads, that would imply I'm going to have to sweat.  Mostly, I have shoes for work or "dress-up" shoes. You really can't have enough black shoes, but I am concentrating on adding more color to my stash. Stacy London says to use your shoe for a pop of color in your wardrobe. I love Stacy. And Clinton. And I love her choice of shoes.

If you ever see me wearing the shoes above, I will be at a Halloween party dressed like a monkey. And I would not have paid a nickel for them, I would have borrowed them from someone who is not a friend of mine, 'cause friends don't let friends wear crap on their feet.

I would wear any of these shoes. I have some similar, and when I wear them, I carry a spare pair in my car, so I can change out during the day. I'm crazy about shoes but that doesn't mean I'm crazy. I know my limits. Four hours is about all I can handle in a stiletto and that's only if I am sitting a lot. But damn, I look good.

So as spring shoes arrive in the stores, I tend to linger in the shoe department a little longer than anywhere else in the store. Mostly trying on shoes. I could do that all day long. I LOVE to go to places like TJ Maxx because the correct shoe size is sitting right there on the shelf just waiting for me to slip on my foot. I hate shopping where I have to ask for someone to go in the back and get my size - what a pain in the patoot.
Back in the 70's, they had people in the shoe department (mostly men... like Hal Bundy) that not only had to go get your size, but then sat in front of you on that weird little shoe salesman bench and actually put the shoe on for you. I hated that!!! A lot! It totally creeped me out. First of all, I wore the tiniest little dresses and skirts back then and sitting with some stranger directly in front of your crotch area was frightening in a pedophile sort of way. There simply wasn't any way to discreetly lift your leg up to that shoe bench without displaying the merchandise. And second of all, it was the 70's. I was a liberated woman. I didn't need help putting on a shoe, thank you very much. To by-pass the "system" I would: find a shoe I loved, ask for it in my size, buy it, take it home and try it on in the privacy of my salesman-free home. Then, if it did not fit, I would return it to the store. Ugh! a HUGE pain in the patoot. I was elated when decades later, the "system" changed to Try-On-Your-Own-Damn-Shoes.

So, thanks mom, for the shoe fetish. I got it honestly, and as long as I can still walk in them without busting my butt, I will continue to have cute shoes and lots of them. Not to mention the shoegasms.