April 09, 2012

soap box

No, I'm not making a soap box, I'm hopping on one.

For the life of me I cannot understand the current fashion trend of "sagging". I cannot even tell you how unsexy I think it is, and it actually makes me snicker when I see it. Don't you just want to say "pull up your damn pants, no one wants to see your skanky underwear!" Or better yet, wouldn't you love to just reach out and pull them all the way down? Well, I wouldn't really do either one of those things, but I think about doing them. Really hard. So hard, my head shakes in disgust like an old fogey listening to whipper snapper music.

I saw a video of a policeman patting down a suspect. They are trained to run their hands along the waistline to check for guns/weapons that may be tucked in them. You see where this is going? Yes, the cop said after feeling in front of this young man... "what do you have tucked in your pants?"  He replied "it's my d***". I swear, it's true. Seriously! What are you thinking? That your plaid underwear is going to make the girls swoon? wrong, wrong, wrong. It is GROSS and the most idiotic look ever invented. EVER. Do you know the roots of this trend, because I'm thinking maybe you don't. It started in prison. Male prisoners who are interested in sex with other male prisoners, wear their pants like that to show their availability. Maybe you DO know the roots.
Regardless, young man, the sight of you walking with one hand holding up the pants in the front and your legs spread out so far so they don't fall, makes you look like a penguin. A retarded penguin. Yes, I went there. So, for God's sake, pull up your damn pants. Not cool. At all.

OK, I'm done.